For the entirety of May I was on a dark underground journey with myself. I analyzed everything about myself, where I am, and what I want to become. It got dark. Not going to get into specifics but it was a lot of talk with myself in a mirror or my car or to myself throughout the day. To keep it appropriate I kept telling myself “you need to win Owen. Because you have no other choice.” I feel we all have taken ourselves to this level before. It definitely made me more aware of the consequences when I don’t do something I need to do. I am comfortable where I am right now, but comfort kills progression. And without progression, we don’t get better. Numbers: P/U: 13765 S/U: 12047 Forms: 125/113 Sparring: 16 AoK: 268 Mileage: 378.93km
It’s amazing how fast future events can arrive. It feels like yesterday Sifu Ryback said “44 Days” till the grading. “I got some time” I said to myself. Now realizing. I actually don’t have really anytime left. The grading board has already made their decision. I just need to either prove they are making the right decision, which ever that may be. Which brings me to the control we always talk about. I have no control over what happens that day. I just need to do my demo and not hide anything. I want my flaws and strengths to show that day. I won’t be perfect that day, I’m only going to be as good as I prepared, and if I was perfect would mean I have achieved mastery. And if I did that than something isn’t right. Like I said earlier. The board has already made their decision. I just need to prove they are making the right decision. Numbers P/U 45097 S/U 42380 Forms 704/749 Sparring 218 AOK 724 Mileage 1136.82km
My normal resting bbm is 60, for the last week is has consistently been 65-70, slightly elevated but within optimal range still. I believe I have everything I can to prepare myself for tomorrow. Now the main focus right now is to control my nerves and not invalidate everything I have done to make it to this point. There has been lots of self reflection and analysis over this last year up till now. My friends and family have been with me this entire time. There is not anything else I can think to say in this blog right now. Other than I just need to go out there tomorrow, show everything, and do the best I can. Numbers P/U 46500 S/U 44000 Forms 756/784 Sparring 245 AOK 779 Mileage 1184.73km Blogs 37 Mastery: Memorized
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